Review: Robert Harris' The Ghost

Warning: Some spoilers to follow.

Robert Harris is an eminent British novelist, known for his historical thrillers Fatherland, Enigma and Archangel as well as a series set in Ancient Rome. But in 2007, The Ghost turned up unexpectedly, out of the blue. Upon the resignation of Tony Blair, Harris - a former political editor of The Observer newspaper - immediately began to work on the book. In 2010 it was turned into a film starring Ewan McGregor as the Ghost and Pierce Brosnan as the ex-Prime Minister, but how did the novel itself turn out?

Blair resigned on June 24. The first edition of the book was published on September 26. So it should be said from the outset that if this book was written very quickly, as the dates seem to indicate, it certainly doesn't show - and that's a compliment. I am ever so slightly dubious that the entire novel could have been conceived, written, rewritten, edited, prepared, promoted and published in that time - after all, in Chapter Two we are told that it normally takes at least four months for the publisher's end of the process. But that's not really the issue here - it just means that what we have is an astonishingly directed novel, with no extrenuous segments or language. This is definitely Harris' tightest work to date.

It is impossible - for this reader at least - to read the book without being constantly reminded of Tony Blair. This is no coincidence. Adam Lang is almost a direct lift of Blair from the real world onto the page, right down to the "wild" days at Uni (Blair played rock guitar, Lang acted) - with similarly wild hair. Both attended Oxbridge, both had lightning-fast promotions through Parliament, both began their terms as beloved but ended as despised. Lang does not actually appear all that much throughout the book, probably less than half the total pagecount. While this may initially seem odd, given that it is his memoirs the Ghost is writing, as the reader progresses it soon becomes clear that the layers of mystery and curiosity surrounding Lang aren't really about Lang at all. The plot is - as in so many thrillers - much bigger.

And it's with Lang that the only real problem with the book lies - the fact that he, and by extention the entire book, are so entrenched with Tony Blair that it is impossible to seperate the two. Fiction relying on real life is of course the norm - Harris himself could hardly have written Enigma without the Second World War, or Fatherland without Hitler. But in those novels one was able to seperate your mind from what you know to be the facts of real life for the duration of the book. With this one, you never can - Blair hangs like a spectre over every page, diluting the pure thriller and escapist attitude one would normally have while reading.

And as for that revelation at the end, that Lang was being unwittingly controlled by agents of the CIA throughout his entire career ... well. The initial reaction is that it couldn't possibly happen. But given a greater amount of thought, it's actually quite plausible - and would certainly explain a lot of Britain's foreign policy over the last thirteen years. This isn't a conspiracy theory in the vein of Dan Brown - this is entirely possible in today's world, and all the more frightening for it. Added to this is the fact that we do not learn, until the very last page, that the entire novel has been the Ghost's own memoirs, of a sort. And that if we are reading them, then he is dead. We - like our narrator - have not taken the threat truly seriously until this point (the Ghost's major concern when he returns home is leaving a car in an airport park for too long). It's a mistake that costs him his life - and leaves us with an unsettling feeling when we close the covers.

Where then does The Ghost rank in Harris' catalogue? Personally I still prefer Archangel, but only because that dealt with Russia and Stalin, twin obsessions of mine. If you're looking for an excellent, plausible, and thought-provoking thriller, you could do a lot worse than The Ghost.

Mondays Are Hell: Welcome To My Underground Lair... The Profit Schemes Of Bond Villains

There really is nothing like a good Bond villain. Whether a diabolical madman after world domination (Drax, Graves), a rogue Soviet general seeking the downfall of the West (Orlov, Ouromov) or just a man with a good plan but godawful execution (Largo), the bad guys all have something in common - they provide the antithesis to Bond's suave, sophisticated good guy, the ones we can boo and hiss throughout the course of the film. Oftentimes, the Bond Villain has proved more memorable than the Bond Girl of Bond himself - there's precious little that's good about Moonraker, and most of it is Hugo Drax, Max Zorin was a great villain stuck in a terrible film, and unlike the girls of The Man With The Golden Gun, at least I can remember Scaramanga's name. (Hmm. All those are from the Moore era. Coincidence?)

And where there is a villain, there must be a plot. Bond villians have almost without exception done us proud on this count. They've offered a full spectrum of villainy, from drug-running to extortion to full-blown nuclear annihilation. But there's the catch. Some plans are so ludicrously over-managed and chancy that it seems impossible the villain could ever make his money back - and some just raise questions about why they were ever initiated in the first place. Here are just a few.

Thunderball
After questioning Largo's knowledge of basic secret-keeping last week, it's now time to examine the finances behind his plan. I appreciate that SPECTRE is an international organisation, probably able to call upon millions of dollars at their disposal. But what exactly was Project Thunderball's profit margin? Besides keeping his hundred or so goons in valued employment, Largo had to specially convert the Disco Volante into a bomb carrier, and set up the underwater runway, and hollow out a massive cavern simply to give himself somewhere to hide the bombs. (Interesting how he did that without anyone noticing.) Angelo's training and surgery must have cost a lot as well. And while we're on the subject, how did they know it would be Derval who would fly the nuke flight? It was two years after the plan was started. Anything could have happened to Derval in that time without their interference. Unless they had a dozen different fake pilots ready to take over, in which case even more money would have been spent. I know one hundred million is a lot of money, but SPECTRE's costs on this operation can't have made it viable.

You Only Live Twice
In this movie, SPECTRE have the following:

• Better spacecraft technology than either America or Russia, the world's leading superpowers
• Worldwide manpower and offices on every continent
• The ability to HOLLOW OUT A VOLCANO
• Endless resources of money, to be able to do the above

By this point, I haven't a clue why they're even bothering, to be honest


OHMSS
In this film, Blofeld manages to create a cure for every single food allergy in the world. The question must be asked... Why the hell did he bother with his Evil Plan? He's in possession of one of science's greatest revolutions. He could reveal and market it legitimately and make trillions. (But why make trillions when he could make... billions?) He's so desperate for a title, I'm sure any government in the world would give him one after this. He'd have money and prestige and worldwide fame - surely enough for any man. But no, he holes up on Piz Gloria and holds the world to ransom. Idiot.

The Spy Who Loved Me
It's interesting to note that Stromberg - the man who wants to recreate the human race under the ocean - only seems to have two women in all his holdings. By the end of the movie, both of them were dead. Did he have a back-up plan?

For Your Eyes Only
Just a quick one, this. Assuming that Bond had been stopped and Kristatos had sold the ATAC to the Russians, does anyone really think they would have let him go? Far simpler to kill him and take the money back, especially after Bond killed all the henchmen. Maybe it's just me, but I think Kristatos would have found himself a little over his head.

GoldenEye
The welcome return of the Underground Lair! We haven't seen a proper once since The Spy Who Loved Me, so it's good to see Alec Trevelyan and his massive underground satellite station. The question must be asked, though... is it all really necessary? A smaller complex would be able to do the job just as well, particuarly if it was well hidden. The level of armed response also seems unnecessary. For a start, 006 believes Bond and Natalya are dead, and was sure that no-one could have followed Boris' trail back to Cuba. Also, Wade was adamant that no-one could build a base in Cuba, despite that being exactly what Trevelyan managed to do, and showed no inclination to send men out to look before Bond turned up. (On a side note, I wonder just how 006 did manage to build the complex...) But then again, Trevelyan would have gotten 'more money than God' had he succeeded, so for once he would have been able to pay everybody off.

It seems, therefore, that quite a few Bond Villains could have taken the advice of Dr. Evil's Number Two - as shown with his Virtucon corporation, you can make far more money legitimately than you ever could through evil means. I eagerly await the madman who will, one day, announce that his Evil Plan is to construct a factory that makes miniature plastic models... of factories.

Review: Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell

Over the years, it's fair to say that Tom Clancy has progressed from being just a name to a veritable brand. As well as penning his own novels, he authorises several series (Op-Centre, Net-Force, Splinter Cell novels) to be written under his moniker, and has also lent his name to almost forty videogames dealing with traditional espionage and military themes. It's with the first of the Splinter Cell series we concern ourselves with today. First released in 2002, this game was credited with revolutionising the stealth genre. It's since spawned four sequels - but how did the first one turn out?

Players take on the role of Sam Fisher, a hardened NSA operative dedicated to the most crucial and deniable operations the NSA requires. He uncovers a diabolical scheme that threatens the security of the world, and it's up to this one-man army to put a stop to the Georgian Information crisis.

Thinking about it, though, that last statement isn't exactly true. While an imposing physical figure, Sam isn't exactly able to take much punishment. Only a few shots from enemy rifles will kill him, and when Fisher aims his own weapons, manouvres are slow and limited - a clear discouragement against going in guns-blazing. This can occasionally create problems, especially in the rare sequences in the game where all-out assault is the ordered way to proceed (Grinko's attack in the Abattoir level, for instance). But solely action-oriented moments are few and far between, so this isn't nearly so much of a problem as it might be. Splinter Cell is, after all, a game about exquisite stealth, and on this count is succeeds admirably.

Sam is always at his best when hidden in the shadows. A useful light meter on the screen will let the player know how well concealed they are, and how likely it is that they will be spotted by enemies. There is an additional level for sound and ambient noise. When concealed in darkness, Sam is able to snipe an enemy quietly, creep up behind them and knock them out, or grab them for interrogation. There will be times when one option is clearly better than the others, but on most occassions Fisher has freedom to approach the foes however he wishes, and this is appreciated. The ten levels (including a PS2 exclusive) are large, and while your path through them is more prescribed than in the Hitman series, for instance, the number of options you have to play with when progressing are more than enough to warrant a replay. Sam is also able to interact with his surroundings - picking up a can to throw and create a distraction, or shooting out a light to ease your path. While these are welcome features, the AI can be a little too forgiving at times - standing immobile in a darkened doorway and allowing you all the time in the world to sneak up behind them, or just breaking off their attack if you hide for long enough. It's slightly strange.

Part of the praise heaped upon this game on release was down to the lighting system. And it's very good - given that the shadows are the key to surviving in the Splinter Cell world. There is no way Sam would survive for long running through the area like James Bond! Players will learn to stick to the darkness at every opportunity, creating their own shadows where possible and dumping enemy bodies away from the light. Indeed, it's certainly possible to progress through severals sections with no collateral damage whatsover - just supreme skill at sneaking and staying hidden. Done properly, the alarm will never be raised and the guards will never know you're there - this is the true challenge of Splinter Cell.

Graphics and sound are solid. The textures of Sam's face look very blocky in close-up, but few people will care about a view you've no need to ever see. The environments themselves are pretty without being spectacular - most of them are by necessity mostly dark, and all tend to look the same when viewed through night-vision goggles! The plot is interesting, dealing with a war of information warfare launched by the President of Georgia with the intent of bringing America to its knees. It's a tale that's not as action-packed or 'loud' as those of Ghost Recon or Rainbow Six, but that doesn't matter - Sam's life is spent in the shadows, rather than in open war. I think the plot keeps the game's environment perfectly.

Besides the slightly forgiving AI, the only issue I have with the game is that they didn't include all of it in the box. While the Power Plant leve is unique to PS2, three further levels dealing with the hunt for Masse were only available to download on the PC or Xbox live. I find this slightly irritating... if content exists for a multi-platform game, it should all be on all platforms. But the lack of that content doesn't detract from what we do have - an excellent stealth game. Splinter Cell should be required gaming for those keen on their spying and their stealth - and if you can get the extral levels, so much the better. Just don't get into the habit of shooting every light you see next time you're out and about. The shadows hide plenty, and you never know who might be watching.

Real-Life Spies: Whither Russia?

When the ten members of the Illegals Program arrived back in Russia, on 24 July 2010, they met with Prime Minister (and former President) Vladimir Putin. Together, they sang traditional Russian songs, including From Where The Motherland Begins. Putin claimed that 'betrayal' had forced the downfall of the spies. Whether that is true or not - and indeed the Kremlin considers it a possibility - the ramifications of the Illegals Program extend far beyond the new lives of ten former spies.

The arrests could hardly have come at a worse time. They occured just three days after the visit of President Medvedev to the United States, with Barack Obama promising that he would not "look upon the Russian Federation as an enemy". Furthermore, America confirmed that it would not expel Russian diplomats, and Russia - wisely - made no attempt to deny the espionage. Did America let Russia off lightly? During the days of the Cold War, any spying whatsoever would have been met with the harshest punishment. It's likely that, in an attempt to keep US-Russia relations relatively stable, Obama decided no further action was likely. While not to dismiss the efforts of the Illegals for their homeland, this was not espionage on the scale of Ames or Hanssen - and so the Americans seem inclined to let the matter rest, at least for now. It is certain that the next occasion of catching a spy - whether it be in America or Russia - will not be dealt with as comfortably as this.

As part of the spy swap, Russia was induced to give up four prisoners. One of these, Igor Sutyagin, was alleged to have collected data on Russian subs and missile early-warning systems, and was serving fifteen years hard labour in a Siberian camp. Sergei Skripal was convicted of giving MI5 names of Russian agents, and was serving thirteen years, while Alexandr Zaporozhsky had served seven for working with the Americans. The fourth man, Gennady Vasilenko, was suspected of being a double agent. The consensus was that America had gotten the better end of the deal, with high-profile and important prisoners being released, in return for the ten Illegals who were, after all, infamous in their capture. Russia could hardly be seen to be ungenerous in it's offerings for the swap, given the political quagmire she already found herself in.

It is likely that no matter the seriousness with which this incident is viewed in Washington, it will be even more closely scrutinised in Moscow. The ten Illegals are taking lie detector tests as part of an extensive Kremlin debriefing - with the thrilling possibility that dobule-crossing is suspected as a partial reason for their failure. Russia has also been thoroughly embarassed on the world stage - not just by the timing, but also by the fact that the spies were caught at all. Under Putin - a former KGB agent - as President, relations were at an all-time low between the Motherland and the Land Of The Free. Admitting that a spy ring is yours just as relations are beginning to improve is not the best way to raise them up again.

But, of course, it is not just in America that the problems lie. MI5 is apparently 'seriously concerned' that Anna Chapman may have influenced a similar sleeper ring to be set up in Britian. And the man under the alias of Christopher Metsos, last seen in Cyprus, is still out there. As the former head of the Security Services, Sir Stephen Lander, says, "They [the Russians] are part of a machine... and the machine is a very professional and serious one." Perhaps the true purpose of this machine is yet to be seen.

Giving Some Love To ALIAS

I'll be honest - I never really liked Lost.

I watched the first few episodes and couldn't believe how quickly I lost all interest in the show. It didn't seem to be about anything, just a collection of questions about a mysterious island that we were supposed to care about. What was the noise that came from the trees at night? Why had the plane crashed? Why was I wasting an hour each week on this? I switched off early on, but the show continued for six years, finally ending a few months ago  - and apparently not answering all that many questions to a degree of satisfaction. I noticed the name on the credits way back in 2004 - 'created by JJ Abrams'. A name I resolved to be cautious about in the future.

Flash forward to 2006, and Abrams releases Mission: Impossible III, a film that surprised me by being better than the first. He then of course topped it with Star Trek, an astoundingly good reinvention of a tired series. Perhaps Lost was an anomaly, and this guy was actually rather good. And that's when I discovered ALIAS.

I'm not surprised that I never heard of ALIAS before. I don't remember it being shown on British TV, and if it was, it can't have been that popular. Even in America, the show was never massively successful, gaining a 'cult following' but never transferring that into viewing figures. Still, it was kept on by ABC for a full five years, something which we should all be very pleased about, because the show itself is just awesome.

I've only watched the first nineteen episodes, but already ALIAS is number two on my all-time favourite TV shows list. It's that good. Episodes may be formulaic (Sydney is given a mission, receives a cool piece of tech, deals with a personal situation, goes to a far-flung location, sets up a cliffhanger for next week), but this is actually way less of a problem than one might think. The missions and locations are so varied that it never feels like a retread of old ground - and the plot has been so well thought out that we're constantly hooked. Something that seems out of place in Episode Four - a piece of a stainglassed window - will fit into the bigger puzzle of the ALIAS plot - when inserted into a special Rambaldi clock, the glass displays a star map that points to one location on the Earth. This is a show that not only gives us answers, but reasons to care about those answers.

Ah, yes, Rambaldi. A long-dead inventor, and some might say prophet, it is his collection of works that our group of agents are chasing in the first series. It's all adding up to something - I don't know what, yet, but I know it will be brilliant. But what ALIAS really excels at is the simplest spy story of all - that of the double agent. We know, and Sydney knows, that SD-6 is evil, and her CIA allegiance is the true side of good. But how long can she keep up the pretence? How long until she's found out? How game-changing would that be? Watching the show, we're constantly forced to re-evaluate characters and sympathies. Dixon unwittingly kills four CIA agents when he blows up a facility... but he thinks he's on the side of good. Does that make it acceptable? Is Sydney right to let her colleagues be taken in by the SD-6 fabrication of lies? Does she have a right - or a responsibility - to make that choice?

Even the elements I shouldn't like, I do. The frequent visits to Sydney's home life and her friends would normally irritate the hell out of me on any other show (and indeed the level of hatred I have for the character of Kim Bauer on 24 cannot be expressed in mere words), but on ALIAS they really work. The constant use of pop songs over emotional montages I like slightly less, but it's still acceptable, because the spy element of ALIAS - the reason I watch - is so good that almost anything else can be forgiven.

The cast are excellent. Jennifer Garner excels in the lead - if she originally thought she would have trouble with the role, as rumoured, it certainly doesn't show. Prize of the acting honours, however, must go to Ron Rifkin as Arvin Sloane, head of SD-6. This is a man that we know is a villain, yet we are forced to see his kinder side displayed to Sydney and his dying wife, and Rifkin portrays all aspects beautifully. I actually felt sorry for him when he was betrayed by, of all people, Roger Moore. That's something new. When have we ever felt properly sorry for villains before? And yet despite this, Sloane is so brilliantly creepy that we know he can never be redeemed. Is he wholly evil? No. But I somehow have the feeling that he wouldn't be above letting his wife die if she ever found out about SD-6. ALIAS doesnt' just show us its villains, it puts us in the hearts and minds and challenges us to like them. What other show has dared to do that?

ALIAS continues to be one of the most under-rated shows ever shown on TV. It's a cruel twist of fate that has propelled Lost to legendary status, while ALIAS is relegated to cult footnote. That shouldn't be the case. The Rambaldi devices may be an intricately crafted puzzle, and the curious case of Laura unfolds with yet more twists, but the real mystery is one of how this show was ever so overlooked.

Review: Hitman Blood Money

Picture the scenes. You're an assassin in a bird costume, waiting for your chance to murder the President. You're relaxing in your Peruvian villa, having made millions from the drugs trade. You're a guest in a Las Vegas hotel, preparing to hand over a deadly bioweapon. In each case, you are seconds away from death. It could come from anywere. The kiss of steel fibrewire against your throat. A single bullet to the back of the head. A piano crashing down upon you from above. Somewhere, close nearby, a bald-headed man in a red tie with a barcode tattooed on the back of his neck is wathcing you die, satisfied with the knowledge of a job well done. And the best part? You'll never know he was there...

In 2000 a little Danish company named IO-Interactive created a PC title called Hitman. It was a stealth game... with a twist. Instead of sneaking in the shadows, picking off your enemies with silent precision, you were stalking your prey in the open, hiding in plain sight. This was a new kind of gameplay. The title sold moderately well, and a sequel was soon commissioned. Later installments proved to be far more successful than the first, progressing through Silent Assassin and Contracts to where we find ourselves today, Blood Money. Putting us back behind the barcode of Agent 47, a clone and the world's greatest assassin. But this time, he may have met his match...

From the start, it's clear that this is something special. Instead of a title screen, we hear the strains of Schubert's Ave Maria, and descend slowly through a peaceful countryside while the birds sing in the background. It's wonderfully atmospheric, and the atmosphere will only improve as the player progresses through the game. In fact, what Blood Money does better than any other game I've ever played is create an atmosphere for the player to immerse themselves in. The graphics are PS2-superb, in fact a lot better than many current-generation games, and there's never any lag or texture overlap. Music is all-round awesome (more on that at the bottom). The plot unfolds through cutscenes, with most of your missions occuring as flashbacks, not directly tied to the main story but providing you with clues to work out the overall scheme. And it's a cracker - no spoilers here, but it's definately game-changing in the Hitman universe, and the ending definately leaves questions to be answered.

Everything about this game is just better than in any of the others that came before it. Level design is a thing of perfection. Part of the fun of the series has been discovering the multitude of different ways to perform any given hit - but Blood Money takes that to the next level. For example, there's a mission on a Mississippi paddleboat where you have seven targets to eliminate, but it's not just about the quantity of hits. There's just so much variety. One totally new invention is the ability to disguse your hits as accidents - for example, to set a bomb on an opera house chandelier, causing it to crash down upon your target but leaving you totally unsuspected. Or pushing the aforementioned paddleboat crew over the sides to die in the icy river, or rigging a barbecue grill to explode, or... the possibilities are myriad. And the cleaner your kill, the better your ranking, and these have a purpose in Blood Money beyond pure mental reward. The game introduces something called the Notoriety system, tracking how well you perform on your mission - taking into account how many civilians you kill, how much noise you make, how many times the alert is rasied, and so on. If the score is high enough, your next mission will be made that much harder by your increased Notoriety... unless you can find a way to pay them off. It's a great addition to gameplay, forcing you to think long-term rather than just about the hit at hand.

But the core reason why Blood Money is top-three material is the feeling it gives you when you play it. I'm not saying that contract killing is something to be admired, but videogames have rarely bothered themselves with moral quandries. When you play the game, you are Agent 47, and that's what matters. The involuntary jump you may have when a guard looks at your disguise, the split-second wondering whether he's onto you, the urge to reach for your Ballers and solve the problem - no other stealth game treads such a terrifyingly thrilling line between excitement and fear than this. And for the clever and astute player, there'll never be a Game Over. Quick thinking will get you out of a tight spot, allowing you to continue your mission - but your current disguise may be compromised, or the guards may be more alert. It doesn't matter. The professional carries on, adapting to the circumstance and clinically coming through. It's all part of the game. And there is nothing like the satisfaction of a Silent Assassin rating, the reward for a perfect hit. This is a rank reserved only for the best.

I have one small issue with Blood Money. Again, no spoilers, but at the end of the game, in the Requiem level, you are asked to do something that many players will find distasteful. Thinking as 47, it's perfectly understandable, but some may feel that it crosses the line between avatar and player. It's by no means anything to drag the game down from being utterly amazing, but unfortunately the tiny niggle is still there. Still, Requiem is the least interesting level in the game, so many, I am sure, will just ignore it after completion.

Blood Money was released in 2006. At the time of writing, Hitman 5 was confirmed to have been delayed until Christmas 2011 at the earliest. This isn't actually a big disappointment for me. I've spent the last four years wondering how IO are going to top this, and if they want to take a year more to do it, that's fine by me. (Plus I don't actually own an X360, so I wouldn't be able to play it anyway...) In the meantime, Blood Money will more than suffice for anyone searching for not just a great stealth game, or even a great game, but just an all-round amazing piece of entertainment, full stop.

Oh, and the soundtrack is one of the greatest compositions ever. Buy it.

Real-Life Spies: The Illegals Program

009 writes: Today sees the release of the memoirs of former Prime Minister Tony Blair, entitled A Journey. To accompany this event, I'd intended to create a review of The Ghost by Robert Harris, but I last read it a few months ago and would prefer a re-read before posting my thoughts. So that should be uploaded to the Section in about ten days. In the meantime...

On the face of it, it's difficult to see why the media made such a fuss over the Illegals Program.

Ten individuals in the United States were arrested and charged with carrying out long-term, deep-cover espionage against America on behalf of Russia. Sleeper agents. Spies. That Russia has spies in the US should surprise nobody. Every major nation of the world undoubtedly has spies in every other major nation of the world, with some - Robert Hanssen, Aldrich Ames, Oleg Gordievsky - operating at high levels indeed. Very few people would have been shocked or even surprised that Russia had embedded long-term illegals inside a potentially hostile nation - it's a certainty that America has a fair few of it's own inside Moscow. No-one, then, was outcrying against the SVR for not "playing by the rules". In spying there is after all only one rule: Don't get caught.

And herein lies the problem. The ten illegals were caught, as part of an elaborate and intense FBI investigation. On June 27 2010 they were all arrested under suspicion of espionage against the United States. They are termed illegals because they are not officially registered as agents of a foreign power - improving your chances of working undetected, but increasing the risk if you get caught. Perhaps it was the very fact that the ten essentially failed that brought such attention - the hallmark of a good spy is to stay out of the clutches of your enemies, and none of the Ten managed this. This was heaven for the FBI and the Western media, having a ready-made crushing success to wave in the faces of the Kremlin officials. As I've said before, the actual act of spying surprised nobody - but the spies getting caught was a shock. Whether the agents were bad, betrayed or simply unlucky, they were undeniable failures - and no-one loves a failure quite like the media.

Part of the media interest can certainly be pinned down to the involvement in the case of Anya Kushchenko, better known as Anna Chapman. The media went wild for this photogenic spy, with photos of her splashed across every newspaper and website in the land - especially after the stories told by her ex-husband. Even Vice-President Joe Biden, when asked by Jay Leno on the latter's talk show, "Do we have any spies that hot?" replied, "Let me be clear... it wasn't my idea to send her back!" There can be no doubt of Chapman's attractiveness, but I am slightly dubious about her personality profiles on the social networking sites Facebook and LinkedIn. While some may argue that the successful spies blend in in every conceivable way, there's a limit - and posting conspicuous photographs of yourself that others might recognise it not the best way to go about it. Chapman may never have expected to be caught, but the photos were still an unnecessary risk that she chose to take.

Besides her appearance - there's another reason why the media perhaps latched onto Chapman - she doesn't appear to have been a particuarly good spy. Her initial tradecraft was sleek - transmitting information through an encrypted computer network at internet cafes, while her handler passed by in a vehicle in the street outside and received the traffic. It was when she began to suspect she might be on the verge of being discovered that Chapman began to lose her composure. A man purporting to be a Russian superior asked her to meet him in person in New York - something that should have aroused Chapman's suspicions immediately, given that her brief was never to meet face to face. It was to be her undoing. "Roman" turned out to be a very different man to whom he said he was. And he asked her to deliver a false passport to another sleeper in person.

Anna agreed, and bought a new cellphone and transaction cards. Her father - a high-ranking KGB official - advised her to turn in the passport to the police. Chapman duly did so, and this proved to be the rope which hung her, as she was arrested and questioned. Why she did not dispose of the passport another way without bringing it to the attention of the authorities is anybody's guess... although Chapman does not exactly have form in this area. She registered a cellphone at a ficticious address - 99 Fake Street - even Clancy Wiggum would be able to see through that one! And she threw the receipt in a public bin, and it was swiftly retrieved by the FBI. Hardly the actions of a Master Spy. (And while we're on the subject, I doubt Anna Chapman possessed shoes with a blade that flicked out of the end - surely this is standard equipment for all Russian femme fatales? Then again, looking at her, she's definately no Rosa Klebb...)

The nine others were arrested in short order, and all admitted being Russian sleeper agents. They pleaded guilty in court to a charge of conspiring to act for the Russian government, but avoided a five-year prison sentence in return for agreeing to act in a spy swap. America would gain four prisoners, and the Russians their ten in return. America was widely perceived as getting the better end of the deal.

Here, perhaps, lies one of the reasons why the case gained so much coverage and notoriety - the fact that 'we', as the Western World, had actually won this round of espionage. When was the last time we could celebrate a triumph like this? Alexander Litvinenko was poisoned in London right under the notices of MI5. Hanssen and Ames may have been caught over the pond, but the damage they collectively did was so heinous that those arrests must  have felt like defeats. In the case of the Illegals, however, America couldn't put a foot wrong. "The tradecraft used by the SVR ring was amateurish...", the Guardian newspaper here in Britain affirmed. "To have a spy ring uncovered before they could do any serious damage is doubly embarassing."

The spy swap itself could have come straight out of Le Carre. Two planes landed in Vienna, a few hundred feet apart. The agents to be swapped emerged, walked briskly across the tarmac to the opposing jet, climbed in, and that was it. The planes soared towards Washington and Moscow, and an embarassing occasion in the history of detente was over.

Except, of course, it wasn't. The scandal continues to rumble on quietly, even today. For the major players, of course, the mission is over. Anna Chapman's British passport has been revoked. Of the others, none among them are allowed to return to America. It is likely that several months of debrief in Moscow await the ten agents - including tests to see whether any of them were in fact double agents. It's not the future they would have wished for - but that's the risk you take in this game. The world's second-oldest profession takes no prisoners.

I'll be posting a follow-up article dealing with what lies ahead for US-Russia relations in the wake of the Illegals affair, but for now it's interesting to note an epilogue of sorts to the story. An eleventh man, going by the name of Christopher Metsos, was arrested in Cyprus but released on bail. He has not surfaced since. It was later discovered that the name 'Christopher Metsos' belonged to a deceased child - leaving the mysterious man's true identity unknown. His continued absence - and the questions over his identity, location, and goal - show that this is one story that is by no means finished. The Cold War is back, comrades. Perhaps it never really went away...

Q-Branch: Rinspeed sQuba

Apart from the supersleek Aston Martin DBS featured in the latest 007 films, the Lotus Esprit is possibly the best Bond car of them all. It's the infamous 'underwater car' featured in The Spy Who Loved Me, driven by Bond off a beach and straight into the ocean to avoid Stromberg's henchmen. Legend has it that the chairman of Lotus ordered a new Esprit parked outside the Bond production offices, in order to give it a better shot at featuring in the next film - and it worked. The Lotus is, along with the original Aston, one of the most iconic and identifiable vehicles ever. It was just a shame that such a magnificent piece of engineering was restricted to Q-Branch, and could never become reality.

But that wasn't the case.

A Swiss company named Rinspeed has constructed a prototype version of an aquatic car, called the sQuba. It is designed to work equally well on both land and under water. It's a zero-emission car, powered by three electric motors, of which two are exclusively for aquatic use. The car will float on the surface of the water until the interior is flooded, at which point it will submerge (the interior is salt-resistant). Top speed underwater is 3 kilometres per hour, about 1.6 knots. Maximum depth is 10 metres. The sQuba does not drive along the seabed - it 'flies' in the water, exactly like a real submersible. The occupants breathe through diving regulators, and the open top means they can escape rapidly in the event of an emergency.

Isn't it beautiful?

The sQuba has not yet entered production. If it ever does, it is unlikely that many will ever be made - they will cost more than $1.5 million to build, and there is after all only selective appeal for a car like this. But it's still magnificent - a true indication that gadgetry is ever-evolving, and that Bond is more than just a good time - he's an inspiration.

Mondays Are Hell: Ten Ways To Irritate The James Bond Fanatic In Your Life

In the words of Ian Fleming in Moonraker, Mondays are hell. So what better day to write the first installment of a weekly James Bond column? This could be anything - a review, an article, an opinion piece, whatever I desire. And there may be occasions when a Bond article spills over into the rest of the week, but Monday will always be the day of 007.

First up, a light-hearted look at Ten Ways To Irritate The James Bond Fanatic In Your Life.

1. Remind them of Bond's real favourite drink.
Ask any self-respecting fan what Bond's favourite drink is and the chances are they'll say, "That's obvious! A vodka martini, shaken not stirred!" This is not, however, the case. Close inspection of the books reveal that Bond consumes a total of 317 drinks (an average of one every seven pages), which can be broken down thus: 101 whiskies, 35 sakes, 30 champagnes and only 19 vodka martinis. Even adding in all the martinis he orders in the films, the total is nowhere near the 101 for whisky. Of course, ordering a whisky at a bar isn't nearly as suave or smooth as ordering a vodka martini, so by all means keep doing that instead.

2. Argue that Daniel Craig's films are just copying Jason Bourne.
After the release of Casino Royale, those critical of the film claimed that this hard-bitten, cruel, serious, pugilist, almost dark Bond was just a copy of the two hugely successful Bourne films that had gone before. While it can certainly be said that CR and Quantum of Solace are grim films, almost entirely without humour or lightness of heart, this isn't down to the influence of the Bourne films, but rather a return to the tone and ethos of Fleming's original works. Casino Royale is, after all, a dark and violent book, and so were almost all of the ones that followed. Just because CR was such an unexpected tonal shift away from every other film in the series doesn't mean it wasn't true to being Bond. He'd gone serious before - notably in On Her Majesty's Secret Service and For Your Eyes Only - it's just that CR and QoS took it to the next level. And it worked - Craig's first became the highest-grossing Bond film to date, and on a personal note, his efforts rank 2nd and 3rd respectively on my all-time-favourite chart. The new era may have drawn some inspiration from Bourne, but is almost entirely still it's own beast. As Vesper said, just because you've done something doesn't mean you need to keep doing it.

3. Strenuously deny that George Lazenby is anything other than the best Bond.
A general consensus on OHMSS is that while the film is excellent, Lazenby as Bond doesn't quite match up to the level of his fellows. It didn't help, of course, that the entirety of his Scottish dialogue was dubbed (resulting in twenty minutes of not hearing our leading man), but it is true that Lazenby seems a little out of his depth. Would he have grown into the role and become a beloved Bond in the vein of Connery before him? It's hard to say. Personally I don't think he's quite as good as any of the others, but the decision to leave was Lazenby's, and so we must respect that. On the other hand, maybe he saw the script for Diamonds Are Forever, and decided to leave while the going was still good.

4. Remind them that the author himself hated some of his own work.
This is true of The Spy Who Loved Me. After publication in 1962, Fleming was so resentful of the novel that he prevented a paperback edition being published until after his death (the edition was eventually released in 1967), and refused for any of the material to be used in the eventual film of the same name. Hence when the movie was released in 1977, it bore no resemblance at all save the title, and turned out... well, I'm never quite sure what to make of the film, though it will of course be discussed in a future column. But returning to the book, it's not hard to see why Fleming hated it. The story follows Viv Michel, a young Canadian who runs a motel in the Adirondacks. Bond himself barely appears. The owner of the motel sends goons to burn it down and claim the insurance (not much of an Evil Plan compared to Thunderball or Moonraker), and of course Viv is in the way. Bond duly shows up in the nick of time, offs the gangsters, gets down with Viv and then promptly disappears before breakfast. From Russia With Love, it is not.

5. Continuously say that 'Halo' is a better shooter than 'Goldeneye'.
I have no idea whether this is true, not having played either, but it's still good for a laugh.

6. Play Madonna's 'Die Another Day' theme at full volume, 24/7.
Die Another Day is not as bad as many claim, but one thing is for sure - the theme tune is an absolute monstrosity. It takes doing to produce a song worse than Lulu's 'The Man With The Golden Gun', but Madonna managed it. The song is so bad that the CIA considered using it as a torture device at Guantanamo Bay, but the plan was aborted when a guard who happened to hear the song just once confessed responsibility for 9/11 and claimed he knew the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden. I hear that they're now using a six-year-old girl taking her first violin lesson instead.

7. Character-assassinate James Bond.
This is such a big topic that it's due a dedicated post at a later date, but for now it's sufficient to say that the character of James Bond, particuarly in the novels, is not a particuarly nice one. You have to admit that he is actually rather fitting of M's description as a "sexist, misogynist dinosaur" in GoldenEye. Here's a delightful sample line from The Spy Who Loved Me - "All women love semi-rape. They love to be taken." Charming. And Bond's attitude to women doesn't improve in the films, either. Whether he's casually hitting them (Tania), cruelly playing games with them (Miss Taro, Rosie, Andrea Anders) or just plain sexist (essentially forcing his way with Patricia Fearing, Molly Warmflash and goodness knows how many others), it's difficult to see why Bond is "the type of man every woman wants to sleep with". For such a famed lothario, he shows a remarkably dismissive attitude to ladies after having his way with them. Even when they are trying to help - such as Havelock in the FYEO short story - Bond thinks of her as a "silly bitch". The two women he shows any real tenderness to are Tracy and Vesper, both of whom end up dead. The one time his crudeness is permissible, perhaps, is following Vesper's betrayal and suicide, where he simply remarks, "The bitch is dead."

8. Comment on Bond's homosexual leanings in For Your Eyes Only.
The short story, not the film. While on the trail of villain Von Hammerstein, Bond makes an examination of him through binoculars that contains the kind of detail normally reserved only for Bond Girls. "The bone structure of the face... was square, hard and thrusting... the large mouth had hideous lips - thick and wet and crimson... he wore nothing but a strip of black material" is just some of the page-long detail given. And throughout the entire series of novels, there are references made to some women having bottoms like those of men. Was Fleming trying to tell us something about his alter ego spy...?

9. Purport that Bond would never get into the real MI6.
While for many people the definitive 'spy', it's extremely unlikely that Bond would ever make it into the real Security Services. For a start, his drinking and his sixty-a-day habit would put him right out of fitness contention, but his abilities and attitude aren't what SIS are looking for, either. MI6 themselves comment on this, saying on their website that "James Bond's high profile means he wouldn't pass muster as an SIS recruit... he is too high profile. The best intelligence officer is one you would never spot." No arguments on this count. While Bond may be adept at performing death-defying stunts, seducing beautiful women and putting the boot into various underground lairs, his actual tradecraft is definately lacking (count the number of times he is spotting following various people in Casino Royale, for instance).

10. Ask them to defend Live And Let Die, The Man With The Golden Gun or Moonraker.
On second thoughts, this one isn't fair. It's just impossible.

Real-Life Spies: The Assassination of Georgi Markov

Given that smiert spionam is very much in the British news at the moment following the apparent murder of MI6 operative Gareth Williams, the time seems ripe to look back at a few famous assassinations from history. First up is the one that everybody knows, the assassination on Waterloo Bridge with an umbrella. But not many people know the details behind the murder. Let's take a closer look...

The victim's name was Georgi Markov. Bulgarian by birth, he was a noted dissident of the Communist regime in his home country, then run by President Todor Zhivkov. Markov was originally a writer of several novels and plays - although the majority of the latter were never performed, banned as they were by the censors of the day. In 1969, then, Markov defected to the West, working for the BBC World Service and later for Radio Free Europe, an American-funded service broadcasting to the Communist countries where "the free flow of information is either banned... or not fully developed". On Radio Free Europe, he began to heavily criticize the Communist regime in his homeland, and so - the speculation goes - the Bulgarian government decided to eliminate him, with a little help from the KGB.

On the morning of September 7th, 1978 (the birthday of President Zhivkov), Markov walked across Waterloo Bridge and waited at the nearby bus stop to complete his journey, one stop east to the World Service headquarters. As he did so, he felt a sharp sting on the back of his right thigh. Looking round, he noticed a man collecting an umbrella from the ground. The stranger apologised to Markov and hurried away, climbing into a taxi and disappearing from sight. Markov thought nothing more about the accident, until he noticed a vicious red spot at the point the umbrella tip had struck. By the end of the day he was in a severe amount of pain, with doctors mystified as to the cause. Developing a fever the next day, he was admitted to hospital and was diagnosed with septicaemia. It was too late for Georgi, though, and he died on September 11th. He was 49.

During the autopsy, a miniscule capsule was found beneath the spot, embedded in the flesh of Markov's leg. It was discovered that this capsule contained traces of the lethally toxic substance ricin, for which there is no known cure. The casing of the capsule was designed to melt at 37 degrees, the interior human body temperature, and thus the ricin was allowed to enter Markov's bloodstream. From that moment, he never had a chance.

The umbrella contained what was essentially the mechanics of an air rifle, modified to allow concealment inside the accessory. The assassin would be able to "shoot" through the tip, long-barreled as a silencer to ensure the quietest hit possible, and then continue on his way - in broad daylight. What is notable is that this was not the first attempt at silencing a dissident - ten days earlier, a similar attempt at murdering defector Vladimir Kostov failed when the ricin was damaged and only induced a fever.

Soviet defectors Oleg Kalugin and Oleg Gordievsky have confirmed that the KGB was asked to handle the assassination, but to this day nobody has ever been formally charged or arrested in connection to the murder. The Times newspaper in 2005 named the assassin as Francesco Gullino, codenamed 'Piccadilly'. Whether this is true or not, it is unlikely that Gullino (or anyone) will ever be prosecuted, as the Bulgarian Statute of Limitations on the case expired in 2008.

If you'd like to see a real ricin-shooting umbrella, then I gather that there's a good example in the Washington Spy Museum. Markov is buried in Whitchurch Canicorum in Dorset, and was awarded the Order of Stara Planina for his opposition to the Communist reigme in 2000. The BBC building where Markov worked can be found at Bush House, just past  the east end of the Strand. And on your way home, you might like to walk across Waterloo Bridge. Just be careful of the City Gent carrying an umbrella, standing at the bus stop, smiling at you in the sunshine...

Review: Salt

Warning: this review contains major spoilers.

Who is Salt? Well, it began, strangely enough, with Tom Cruise.

Cruise was offered a script in 2007 for a film named Salt, to be directed by director Philip Noyce, best known for his adaptations of Clancy fare such as Clear And Present Danger and Patriot Games. He was initially enthusiastic, but eventually had to pull out due to other commitments - plus the fear that the role would be too similar to his Ethan Hunt character from the Mission: Impossible films. Which, to be fair, it is. That's not to say that the film rips off M:I in any way - they're suitably different enough as a whole - but there are definite comparisons between the characters of Salt and Hunt. So Cruise departed and Angelina Jolie was brought in to play the lead, now renamed Evelyn rather than Edwin. How did it turn out?

It's typical 'summer action' fare, but expertly done. From the first action section sequence ten minutes in (an explosive chase through the CIA cover building) to the final fistfight in the nuclear bunker deep beneath the White House, Salt grabs your attention and doesn't let go. While some may complain that the film simply descends into an endless chain of action/fight/chase sequences, they're all so engaging and expertly done that no-one should really care. And the plot is a cracker, too. Dealing with Russian sleeper agents embedded in the United States for years, it could hardly have come at a more appropriate time. Anna Chapman, though, only managed to infiltrate various banking and socialite circles (and more on that next week). Evelyn Salt, on the other hand, assassinates the Russian President! She is a Russian!

...Except, of course, it's not as simple as that. Salt is a Russian sleeper agent, yes, but she was turned at some point during an incarceration in North Korea and is now a true patriot of the CIA. She shoots the Russian President with dart venom from a spider (from her handy arachnid-loving husband), and then simply walks onto the barge where her fellow sleepers have congregated and, through a combination of grenades and machine guns, wipes them all out. It's quite a clever double-cross, and yet, strangely, I found myself rooting for Salt even when believeing she was a true Russian. That she isn't, of course, was the only way to bring the audience fully onside (and have any hope of getting a sequel greenlit), though it's an interesting subversion of the "innocent on the run" idea to have our heroine not be completely clean.

And that's not the only twist. In the final showdown it's revealed that Salt's superior, Winter, is also a Russian sleeper, only he's still dedicated to the cause. I shan't spoil how he dies, but Winter's reveal as a double is totally unexpected, and packs a good emotional punch. And it gives rise to some interesting real-life questions... if fictional agents such as Salt and Winter can rise so high in the CIA, what's the situation in the real world? It's this question that lies at the heart of the movie - the one of never quite knowing just who you can trust. The idea of the double agent is not a new one in spy movies, of course, but Salt spins it differently and succeeds admirably in standing out from the crowd. Direction is fast and fluid - Philip Noyce's best work to date. The script never talks down to us or patronises us. There's not a scene where the CIA laboriously work out that Salt is a Russian and rush to stop her before the assassination, it simply shows us Evelyn infiltrating the church and carrying out the (supposed) hit, allowing us to work out for ourselves the truth. It's a nice touch.

Anna Chapman: ran a real-estate business               Evelyn Salt: all-round ass-kicker

Continuing her run of action roles from Tomb Raider, Wanted and Mr and Mrs Smith, Jolie once again proves herself more than competent in the action heroine role. The melee fights are just as good as those conducted by Matt Damon or Daniel Craig (she performs almost all of the stunts herself). But Jolie doesn't just prove herself in the action sequences, she's able to handle the dramatic scenes just as well. The film doesn't quite require the huge emotional depth of performance of Jolie that A Mighty Heart or Changeling did, but she's nevertheless at the top of her game. There's a reason she's won an Oscar, after all.

Perfectly honestly, nobody else is given that much to do compared to Angelina, but the rest of the cast fill out their roles well. Liev Schreiber as the treacherous Winter comes into his own in the final bunker scenes, and it's interesting to remember his anguished confrontation with Salt after she's arrested for the assassination in light of the fact that he himself was in on it all along. Chiwetel Ejiofor as Peabody is solid as the man who never trusted Salt from the start, but by the end is the only one that believes in her innocence. I'd like to see him return in a possible sequel.

No-one else really sticks around long enough to make that much of an impact, although I'm going to give special mention to sleeper program directer Orlov, and give him a Largo Award (see previous post) for Bad Villainy. Orlov kicks off the film by walking into the CIA and declaring that Salt will attempt to assassinate the Russian President the next day. While this is perfectly true, and it sets up the first of several action sequences, there's really no need for Orlov to do this whatsoever. Salt knows her task, has known for twenty years, and isn't the type likely to forget. If Orlov had stayed dark for one more day, the CIA would never have chased Salt down in the first place and her mission would have been a whole lot simpler. Of course, this means that the first half-hour of the film wouldn't exist, so it's understandable why the scene was written (and excusable, since it's so good). But you can't help but wonder whether Orlov would truly jeopardise the long-awaited Day X for no apparent gain. But this complaint is, on the whole, very minor, and certainly doesn't detract from what is an all-round excellent film.

Comparisons are, of course, inevitable with the twin franchises of Bond and Bourne. And while Salt may not quite scale the heights of the latter trilogy, it's definately better than a fair few of the Bonds. The final scene also expertly sets up the prospect of a sequel - the re-doubled Evelyn, heading after the remainder of Orlov's 'children' while avoiding the CIA. A second film will in all likelihood depend on the return this one makes at the box office - so let's hope it's enough to convince the Suits at Columbia Pictures to invest their money in what has the potential to be an excellent spy franchise. Bond is bankrupt and Bourne is missing in action - perhaps it's time for Salt to take centre stage.

Welcome

Welcome to the Double-0 Section.

This is a blog that will deal with all aspects of spying - the players and the gadgets, the factual and the fictional, the real-life cases and the plots dreamt up for entertainment that might not be too far off the truth. We'll be taking in the current espionage in the news, as well as looking back over high-profile (and lesser-known) cases from history. We'll be examining methodology and gadgetry and all things covert, while at the same time digging deep into the how and why of spycraft. We'll also be dealing with the world of espionage in all forms of entertainment - literature, television and videogames, to name but a few. And above all else, the Double-0 Section deals with anything related to the fascinating world of spying in all its forms. Any suggestions for articles are welcomed, any feedback is gratefully received.

Here's a hint of what'll be coming up over the next few days. There'll be a review of Salt, the spy thriller currently in cinemas. I'll be looking at the real-life 'aquatic car' inspired by the infamous Lotus Esprit. In light of the murder of MI6 employee Gareth Williams, I'll be posting the first in a series of articles dealing with espionage assassinations. There'll be an in-depth look at the simmering tenisons between the US and Russia following the Anna Chapman spy scandal. Plus, there'll be an awful lot about James Bond.

And indeed, to kick us off, a short piece about that most marvellous of film series. Watching Thunderball (1967) for the first time in three years yesterday, I was struck - for the first time - at just how idiotic Emilio Largo, SPECTRE's Number Two and the main villain of the piece, seems to be. His plan is a fine one - steal two atomic weapons, and then hold the world to ransom. But there are three major flaws.

1. He keeps Domino around
Domino is the sister of the man that Largo killed in order to steal the plane carrying the nuclear weapons. Understandably, if she ever finds out about this, she's going to be a bit pissed. So what does Largo do? He keeps her right by his side throughout the entire film. If he'd packed her off to some health spa or Secret Lair somewhere, without telling her where he was, Bond would never have gotten anywhere near Largo when he encountered Derval, and the plot would have succeeded. Of course, the fact that Bond had so much time to find and woo Domino in Nassau brings us on to...

2. He gives a seven-day deadline
Largo holds two atomic bombs. He can do whatever he likes. The world is willing to pay his ransom. But why, why, why give them seven days? It's needlessly generous. If he'd offered, say, two days, there is no way Bond would have worked out the full plan in that time. And the decision was made pretty quickly to give SPECTRE the money, so it was never really a 'last resort'. Giving seven days before the bombs go off is bad villainy, pure and simple.

But the worst transgression Largo commits is the following...

3. He gives all his henchmen and minions MASSIVE SPECTRE RINGS TO WEAR

Does Largo not understand the concept of a 'secret' organisation? He and his cronies all wear humongous octopus rings, noticed by Bond when he plays Largo at cards, and then on Fiona Volpe's finger (at least she half-heartedly tries to explain it away). What a giveaway! So not only does Largo keep around a woman with a blood vendetta against him (once she finds out), he gives the world a whole week to find him, and he advertises his henchmen for all to see by judicious use of jewellry. Sigh. No wonder he was always Number Two.

Mind you, the octopus ring provided the inspiration to call the SPECTRE-in-all-but-name evil organisation OCTOPUS in the videogame of From Russia With Love, so it's not all bad.

Keep your eyes on the Section for future updates. As many as I can fit in. Enjoy.